This is how to love unconditionally in a marriage

Naturally, it is easy for people to love you for the sake of something.

 Let’s face it, a good number of people must always find a reason to love.

A young man who looks at a pretty young girl may fall in love with her because of her beauty.




Don’t get me wrong, am not saying natural love without expectations do not exist.

But the point am making is that it is rare.

I have discovered that most young ladies will always have some affection for young handsome, intelligent or rich guys, etc.

Every marriage is strengthened when couples show love unconditionally.

Perhaps, to proceed further, it will be better we look at the concept of conditional and unconditional love.

Conditional love entails having a love for someone because of something or some conditions attached.

For instance, I love my wife because she is beautiful and elegant.

This means because of the beauty, that is why I love her.

Another example is, I love my husband because he is very handsome and rich.  In this case, wealth and physical looks are the reasons I love my husband.

So lets now look at it this way, assuming for any reason the woman’s beauty is taken away may be due to sickness, accident, etc., it means the love disappears immediately with the faded beauty.

Or when the man’s business crumbles, and he becomes poor, the love for him by his wife grows wings and fly away soonest because that thing(wealth) that originated and maintained the love is no more.




What therefore entails to love unconditionally?

This means you love someone without any condition attached.

I have heard someone who was asked, “why do you love your wife so much”?

And he said “sincerely I can’t explain, I just know I love her with the whole of my heart”

“And for the past ten years, the love is waxing stronger and stronger and am yet to find any reason for loving her the way I do”.

Such kind of love can only be likened to the one Jesus loved humanity in the bible that he gave his life for the remission of the sins of mankind.

So how do couples love unconditionally?

First, you cannot give what you do not have.

You must learn to love, conceive love before you can start radiating love to others.

If all you see about yourself is regrets as a result of past actions or inactions, depression due to wrong decisions or indecisions, then you may not be able to give out love but depression.

To love unconditionally requires a lot of sacrifices.

I must be honest with you, most times to love unconditionally is not so simple.

But it is possible,  therefore to love unconditionally you do follow these 4 provable steps.

  1. Forgiveness in a marriage.

Forgiving is a very powerful tool to prove love.

You cannot convince someone you love him/her if you are yet to forgive any wrong he/she has done to you.

There is a popular story about a man who locked out his wife all through the cold night for attending a church vigil.

And in the morning, after the man opened the door for her to get into the house, she went straight and prepared tea and knelt down to serve her husband.

Guess what? The man broke down in tears and started begging her for forgiveness.

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Forgiveness is a key technique to change men from bad to good and to propagate love.

If you do not forgive one another in marriage then there is no evidence of love.

Forgiveness can sometimes be hard especially if you duel your mind on what you went through as a result of the offense the person committed against you.




But perhaps one trick to find forgiveness easy is to take your mind totally away from the repercussion of the offense and just focus on the forgiveness aspect.

Meanwhile, HuffPost believes the following reasons should compel us to forgive:

  1. It sets you free
  2. It helps you move forward with your life
  3. It begins your healing process
  4. It removes the anger and malice from your heart
  5. You’re no longer giving someone else authority over your mind and heart
  6. You’ll will have a peace of mind
  7. You have the power to forgive
  8.  Forgiveness is the best revenge
  9. Forgiveness is one of life’s greatest teachers
  10. Forgiveness helps us release the victim mentality

However you look at it, forgiveness is a sure way to show capacity, robust inner strength and maturity.

2. Learn to Sacrifice

Selflessness is one of the key areas to display the ability to love unconditionally in a marriage.

Selflessness principle means you put others first before you think about yourself in all you do.

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For example, when preparing a meal, you dish for others before you think about yours.

When you plan shopping, you budget first for your spouse before you plan yours.

If in the house there is only one piece of fish in the stew, you offer that to him/her rather owning it all alone.

When you engage in disagreement, accept his/her opinion-whether or not he/she is right just to make him/her happy.

Put yourself in the shoes of others.

This way you appreciate their feelings and what they go through.

3. Mutual Respect

Respecting one another is key in a marriage to guaranty true love.

When you respect each other’s values, interests, opinions, feelings, and choices, it becomes easy to love unconditionally in a marriage.

If we keep in mind that we are just two different people, from two different backgrounds, different upbringings, sometimes even traditions, etc., then we will learn to accept each other the way we are.

Showing mutual respect for one another helps to foster love unconditionally in our marriage.

4.Transparency in Marriage

There is no way you hide things from someone you truly love.

A woman ones told me during counseling that men make advances on her but she keeps the information from her husband.

Then  I asked her why she kept it from her husband.

And her response was that he may be feeling insecure over her.

That is one of the mistakes many couples do. No matter how small, dirty, strong that secret is, do not keep it away from each other, if you do, it can just leak out one day and erode the trust you both share.

Such an act does not allow you to love unconditionally in your marriage.

Bear in mind that exposing every hidden thing in your marriage to each other helps to build a stronger bond between you two and in the long run strengthens your marriage and home..

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