As discussed in the Part I, the importance of courtship before marriage can never be over emphasized.
Given the critical relevance of a peaceful and successful home, courtship before marriage cannot be just an option.
Aside the earlier reasons mentioned, some of the following are as well part of the key importance of courtship before marriage:
- Time to agree on number of children to make
Children according to Psalm 127 verse 3 -5 of the holy bible “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”
Children are a precious gifts from God. They are not just little babies, but are potential great men and women.
They are actually inheritance from the almighty God as gifts.
Before going into marriage, it is necessary that we plan, prepare and agree on certain terms about the children we trust God to give us as we get set to settle down.
The society today is what it is because some parents either did what they were supposed to do or failed to do what their duties were to children.
The peace of a community to a large extent is dependent on the type of upbringing of the children within the community.
For a child to be good, he/she must be brought up with love and care.
And in most cases part of the challenges of raising children properly is poverty, lack of adequate information about the right ethics to guide children with, lack of parental care, lack of love and attention from parents and so on.
So to be able to raise children well, we need to consider limiting the number of them that we bear to make it easier for us to manage them. In terms of resources as well it will be easier.
For these reasons, intending couples are advised to agree on the number of kids they will make.
As simple as this appears to be, some marriages often fail due to the disagreement.
In parts of Africa where some countries do not have laws to control birth rate, women are made to keep giving birth to many children as much as ten and above sometimes.
There is nothing bad if that is based on agreement except for some medical reasons on the side of the woman most especially.
Couples to be, must discuss elaborately and agree on the number of children to give birth to.
- Time to know about each other’s families and friends
One will agree with me that no human being just appeared from the skies.
A human being first came through other human beings such as father and mother, lived within a family circle ideally and interacted with family members both nuclear and extended as well as socialized with other people within and outside the environment.
So a lady who is preparing to get married to a young man has possibly mother, father, brother(s), sister(s), neighbours, friends and acquaintances. So it is with the man.
On that note, both parties need to know each other’s parents, relatives and friends.
This way, there is a bigger bond of closeness within families involved thereby strengthening the love between intended couples.
Again, in most parts of Africa for instance, when a man marries a woman, he becomes a member of the woman’s both nuclear and extended families by default which is vice versa.
In most European countries, the situation is significantly different as emphasis is often placed more on just the bond between the couple and their immediate children(nuclear family).
Generally, it is critical intending couples familiarize themselves with each other’s families during courtship.
- Time to study each other’s likes and dislikes
During courtship period, I will recommend that husband and wife be as plain as possible to each other with the aim of letting one another know their likes and dislikes.
This will help them to work towards living together as husband and wife by the time they finally settle in marriage.
- Time to discuss and understand each other’s careers and how they will affect family welfare and time.
Some homes are broken today not because the family is lacking the basic needs, but due to the busy schedule of some parents.
In most cases, children suffer the repercussion of such tight work life by parents.
As a man ones you become married, you no longer throw around your time on trivial things but on sharing the time with your family and bond closely. Likewise the woman.
- Time to pray together towards their plan to get married.
Those who pray together, win together. They settle issues together via prayers and are likely to move forward together as well.
In courtship, intending couples need to pray together always as the holy bible says “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord” Prov. 18:22.(KJV)
If you are reading this article while in courtship, my prayer for you is that you will succeed in getting married to have a blissful home in Jesus name.
Meanwhile, courtship is not the time for sex, co-habitation and living as husband and wife.
It is not time when the woman is now expected to come and serve in the man’s house by cooking, washing, cleaning and do laundry for the man.
It is not a crime if she helps with some of those things, but she must do it with limitation. They must avoid staying in closet with each other for long to avoid temptation.
It is not the time for immorality but time for show casing of morality. There should be no pretense in all you do, let your real self come out completely during courtship as this will save you from any after effects of pretentious living.
The goal is see that you know and understand each other very well before tying the nuptial knot.