Dos and Don’ts during courtship





Having placed much emphasis on the importance of courtship before marriage in our previous articles, it is also important to say not all things can actually be engaged in during courtship.

Just like there are very crucial things that if not embarked on, will not guarantee a successful courtship exercise. Read More

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One of our Blog Readers Needs Urgent Advice, Kindly Assist

love advice

One of our blog follower and reader seeks for advice on love-related matter. She left the message on our facebook page requesting for guidance.

Recall part of the very mandates of Court and Marriage platform is to help people with marriage and courtship related challenges through offering them advice.

Because for us in Courtship and Marriage, a happy couple means a happy family and a happy family translates into a happy community which automatically gives rise to a healthy nation.

READ ALSO:      Dos and Don’ts during courtship

Note: Please we urge you to offer advice and not insults. Because this may look like a simple issue but may mean a lot to the person wearing the shoes.

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Her message:

Please I want you help me post this message that I want to send.
Please my fellow ladies and gentlemen and mummies in the house, help me out o. this one. A friend of my ask me this question but I told her I will ponder over it, she said! She is in a relationship where she love her guy so much but doesn’t know if the guy Luv her too, but she says the guy is caring and fun to be with. Her problem with the guy is that he prides himself so much, he believes that He’s husband material, and often tell the gf that whenever they separate that she will never find someone who is loving and caring like him and all sort of hurtful things.although the gf is temperamental but since she met the guy, she is no longer like before. She said the guy cares for her and has suffered a lot for her, he also care so much about her welfare but what she gets her confuse all the time is the hurtful and heartbreaking words he uses on her. So she is asking me if she should continue the relationship or walk away. Please all she needs is advice not insult. She is so much in love that she can’t think straight. Ebere A. Read More

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Marriage sacrifices; here is what we must do to keep our marriages

 

marriage

 Marriage refers to the coming together of two opposite sex adults to live together as husband and wife after fulfilling all the required rites.

For there to be a legal marriage  fundamentally, the bride price must be paid to the family of the lady. This,  traditions, law and bible stipulate and recommend it.

Therefore, this implies that when a man puts a woman in his house without accomplishing the necessary cultural and legal requirements regarding the marriage, then both of them cannot be said to be genuinely married yet.

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So listen to me, as a man, you are not married until you carry out those rites which include payment of bride price and every other thing that the family of the woman may need you to do which is within the law and maybe your religious belief.

Why are we taking time to lay emphasis on how to build successful home via a good marriage? It’s that important because war and peace begin at home. A peaceful and lovely home spreads the values to the community, from there to the county to the states and to the nation then all over the world.

This is just by the way, as I will write full article soon on what makes your marriage legitimate or not.

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Back to the main topic which talks about marriage bringing some freedom and taking some away, it  is crucial to say that FREEDOM is a state of being free.

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How to plan a great wedding with low budget

Before marriage as a young man I was so excited that one day I will be free from certain things by the time I got married.

For example, I go to work  and return come back home, living alone in my a mini-flat apartment, most times I return with a lot of work related issues I wished I could share with someone close, but when I look around me, there is no one to share them with.

Remember the bible says in Gen. 2 verse 18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him“.

So I pray for a wife and hope that by the time I get married, I will surely be having someone I can share my worries with from time to time.

Very correct after, I got married I started having someone I discussed my challenges, dreams, visions, plans and even emotions with.  I got that freedom I was questing for at that level.

Also,  as a young  career bachelor, you leave the house early  in the morning and return in the evening as tired as you are, you then enter the kitchen to prepare dinner for yourself.

This is always tiresome to do all the time. And taking dinner in eateries or public spots regularly is not wise economically and in terms of comfort as well as satisfaction.

Hence, I prayed to get married so I can have someone who can assist me to prepare meals for me while I am out, and help to keep the home as well. This part of the freedom as well, I got after getting married.

I prayed to get married soon so I could  have someone support me financially as the bible says in the book of Genesis, “I will make for thee a help meet’, someone that will help and support me.

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So that if before getting married, I raised funds for my house rent , family bills, property project all alone, at least my wife can raise me some support no matter how small, it will go a long way to serve in one way or the other.

Indeed, after we got married, I started having such support after some time when she got a small business to  do while waiting for a job.

I can also not forget that, the bible says two will warm up each other during  a cold night. I prayed to have such opportunity when I got married. Of course, I started enjoying that after my marriage.

I can go on and on, but the bottom line is that I got those freedoms I itched for before marriage.

Most importantly, as marriage gives you freedom in some areas,  it takes away freedom in another areas of  your life.

Freedom that Marriage took away from us as a couple

The bible says “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord”.

Prov 18:22(King James) Read More

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How to plan a great wedding with low budget

Wedding is an event that marks the official commissioning of a union between man and woman as husband and wife.

Online dictionary defines wedding as “the act or ceremony of marrying; marriage; nuptials.”

It means joining together a man and woman for the purpose of marriage also known as tying of  nuptial knot.

Wedding ceremonies are in different varieties according to cultural and social norms.

In Africa for example almost every community has its own different wedding norms, values and rites.

Wedding day is a day many pray to see yet majority  fail to see it till the end of their lives because not all men or women are privileged to get married in their lifetime for certain obvious reasons. This is a  topic for another day’s discussion.

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I remember while planning my wedding years ago, as I was under pressure to assemble cash for the project, my wife-to-be then was more relaxed than I was because in my country, it is officially the man’s place to marry a woman and provide everything needed for the ceremony.

Although many women offer some assistance, but this is often out of personal volition and not mandatory.

Women seem to wish to see that day more than men from my observations and the general believe in Africa as they refer to the days as the woman’s day.

Usually, gathering the funds needed to execute wedding programme is most times a huge challenge especially for struggling young people of low income status  with less family support.

From the caption of this article, one will tell that managing cost is critical in our discussion of how to make a great wedding.

There are  facts you must realized when planning your wedding to guide you in ensuring you have a wedding that is okay and within your budget.

  1. Wedding is just a short time event.

Wedding ceremony is quite a brief exercise compared to the marriage itself. After the wedding, the marriage starts which is the main thing to look out for.

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Yes, nobody hates having nice comments about his/her wedding events like ”oh it was a great wedding”, “did you see that wedding gown? It was beautiful and expensive”, “how about the cars? they were powerful” the cake, the meal, the decorations and the hall itself and so on.

But dear, all those things end there, then the reality of living together and facing the new family challenges stares quickly few minutes or hours after.

There is no need taking huge loans to carry out wedding event. You do not need to sell valuable property to do your wedding.

Plan your budget realistically and implement it religiously based on the size of your income.

All those people coming to put you under pressure to go borrow will leave the scene immediately the event comes to an end, only you and your spouse will be left to face the debtors who come to recover their borrowed funds.

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If you do not want to end up being miserable during the first few days or months of the matrimony, think wisely before you go borrowing.

  1. Try to limit contracting of activities.

There basically some things you can do by yourself, your spouse can as well or even your siblings can assist with, do not high consultants to handle them in order to save cost.

For instance, if your wife to be knows how to prepare wedding cake, let her draw up a cost conscious budget to handle that bearing in mind that the funds are in shortfall.

Try to cut cost while keeping in view the need for fair standard of whatever you are to achieve.

It is not necessary to go for expensive items when low cost items good enough can serve the same purpose.

  1. Plan your wedding events between December and March . Prizes of items are often lower

these months  by approximately between 10 to 21 percent in most western countries and some parts of Africa.

  • Rent your venue for the event between Thursday night and Friday night. This is because
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    What is the right age for marriage?

    There are a lot of questions in marriage particularly about age.

    Why is this? Why is that?, when will this? When will that? What is this, what is that? And one of the most common question asked by young people is” what is the right age to get married?”

    That is because anything that is a great concept and phenomenon must require a lot of knowledge to pursue hence the need to provide answers to numerous pondering about starting a family via marriage. Read More

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    How Important is Courtship Before Marriage for Intending Couples ? (Part II)

    As discussed in the Part I, the importance of courtship before marriage can never be over emphasized.

    Given the critical relevance of a peaceful and successful home, courtship before marriage cannot be just an option.

    Aside the earlier reasons mentioned, some of the following are as well part of the key importance of courtship before marriage: Read More

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    How Important Is Courtship Before Marriage? Part I.

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    Courtship is a period during which an intending couple study and understand each other to be able to get married and live together as husband and wife.

    Going into marriage without adequate preparation can be likened to building a house without first sitting down to count your cost and planning  properly. Read More

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    Why Marriage By The Way?

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     marriage

    Marriage is a platform where everlasting union between couples is formed and maintained.

    But there  is a very critical question because how you treat marriage depends on the value you place on it. And you cannot place value on anything except you have enough knowledge about the thing.

    Of course this is not peculiar to marriage alone but to everything of great value. Read More

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